Monday, May 22, 2017

Wash rinse repeat

I drew the line in the sand last week.  Enough is enough!   I don't want to be overweight!   I don't want to have to shop in the 'fat women's clothing stores and sections'.  I don't want to be out of breath.  I don't want it feel like I'mstuffed into a sausage casing whenever I wear half of my clothes!!! Ok, to be blunt, I don't want to be fat anymore!

So I woke up on Friday ready to rock this health journey. I walked into work....and there it was.
 
The anniversary/birthday of my employers existence was on Friday and they had cookies for a celebration.   Yup...I ate a cookie or three.

(As a side note...isn't it crazy to have a customer appreciation in the midst of closing down the office...so literally we had a celebration while customers were receiving the bad news about their branch.)

I didn't too bad on Friday night......but I was determined that Saturday would be a success...as much as possible on a weekend. 

Saturday was going to be the new first day of my hard core healthiness!!!

I woke up and ate my cereal....and got to work and my coworker hit me with a bit of niceness.....
 

Yup...a Bavarian cream donut.  Heck yeah I ate it!!!

We did lunch at Arby's.
 
  Ok so maybe the sandwich wasn't all that bad...but the curly fries and cheese cup wasn't all that great!

And then dinner was a simple cheese pizza (only because they delivered it minus the garlic and pepperoni).   Nope...I just ate two pieces!
 

Well I guess Sunday could  be my day to begin complete utter and complete awesomeness!!! 

Woohoo...Arby's again....but this time I tried the loaded cheese fries.   I've been curious!!!

 
Yeah they were pretty good.... but probably way over budget in calories.

Dinner was a sub. (Turkey) and pasta salad....but I finally caved and got the ice cream I've been craving since Wednesday night!!!
 
Yup...three attempts...wash rinse repeat.   

Today...I can do this today!!!!  There are still cookies here and I'm fighting the urge to have one!. I just have to stay away from those darn cookies...they are killing me...I want them so bad!!!

Today is my day to shine!!!!

Motivation alert.....
This weekend Jason and I waked through a few stores and saw some clothes.   I would love to be able to shop anywhere for clothes!!!!   He points out clothes he would love to see on my all the time.   And he has good taste!  I just need to be able to fit into them!!!!!!

And the biggest motivator....
As I was planning in my head and starting to write my post I received a text from Jason...just saying 'I love you'. It was not shocking to receive it as we say that all the time.  But at 9:30 in the morning...while we are both at work....when we texted at 7am this morning....not expected.  Turns out he and the guy he was scheduled to be with today were driving and the other guy (mid 40's maybe a year or two older than me) turned white...clutched his chest and started to have difficulty breathing and talking.   The guy refused 911 and Jason drove like the wind to take him to the hospital which is where he was texting me from. Immediately I thought about what if that was Jason and I hadn't said I love you that extra time....I immediately told him (and he said that's why he texted me because it made us realize how fragile life really can be and he wanted to tell me the same!!).    I don't have any updated news on his co-worker....but I'm going to say no news is good news.  

So why am I writing about this?   While  I don't yet know what happened to this co-worker, with the symptoms I have my suspicions.  And what a huge reminder about how important it is to take steps to eat right  and  to live an active and healthy lifestyle!!!!

You know what?   Those cookies still sound good....but they are suddenly my no longer as tempting!!!!!!

Friday, May 19, 2017

Purging...the good kind

Lets start with the stats...

Running:  I think I MAY be able to make it to my 20 mile goal for running for this month!  I am at 13.05 miles! I only have to run 7 more miles to make that goal.  That's roughly three 2.3 mile runs!

Mileage for the year.  Well.. I am at just over 100 miles for the month. I need 172 miles to break even for the month of May.  I'm not counting myself out....but I'm starting to wonder.  (Although we are talking about a three day weekend over Memorial day and we are talking about taking our bikes...that would net me some miles)   Either way.....I am not giving up that goal ....I"m still pushing forward.

The other goals for May......shot to smithereens.  I am however trying to get back to tracking.....for me that is instrumental for my success!


So I have run three times this week.  It has been wiping me out.

 My legs are feeling it when I'm done.  But I push on!!!!

I am slow as molasses but I keep pushing on!!!

It's gotten hot outside.....but I keep pushing on!!!!

Yes, I realize that to show improvement, I need to keep pushing on!














Today I stopped for a few minutes to smell the roses.  There is a house I run past that has a ton of rose bushes lining his yard/the sidewalk   They are always full of roses!   It makes me smile when I run by.



I am in the process of a revelation.  That revelation?  It is time to make another purge in my life.  Back in 2015 I purged some friends (and a husband the year before).  It was the best decision for me in all regards.  I decided that I wanted to surround myself with people that wanted the best for me and not people that had their own agenda and wanted to put me down in whatever way.   Since then I became closer to a friend. But in the last year I've come to realize that she is a great friend when her life is going well....but when her life is not going well she becomes jealous of my happiness with Jason and says things to try to plant a seed of discord in my mind.  Discord that could ruin my relationship with Jason were I to dwell on her words.  And these words are nothing but "what if......."   Nope....that is NOT the kind of friend I need.  It's time to purge!

Standing up for myself.....and learning to take care of myself emotionally is just one step toward a healthy me.   The crazy thing?  Realizing this and making this decision to distance myself from this 'toxic friend' has given me power to realize that I can once again take control of my eating and exercise too.  
 

Monday, May 15, 2017

Knock one off the bucket list

Where to begin....

Let me just say that I'm not withering away on my mileage goals....I'm at roughly 75 miles for the month....I should be at 86 just to not lose ground.   So not tooo bad.  But not on target for the month and definitely not on target to make up the last of the deficit.  But hey...I'm holding on!!!

Food...my weekend wasn't spectacular with eating....at all.  My stomach felt it too...it reminded me exactly why the unhealthy food and quantities are bad!!!

My curveballs keep flying at me.   My original curve ball  was of Jason getting a job...which is spectacular news, it just changes my schedule and routine.   I made plans in my mind of how to fill up the time and still get my movement.   I would grab my road bike and keep that at the house full time and then I could leave my trek with Jason (he has had it much of the time recently..it's just been easier since we have ridden together most of the time) and only bring that home when I have need of it.  I spoke to my father about it in passing.   And was told that there is no room and he does not want my bike (s) in the garage.   Soooo....my plans were totally wiped off the books.  My first thought was I would just store them in my living area beside my bed...and try to not trip over them.   I have another idea.  But regardless...the bike thing on top of the other curveballs that have been lobbed my way has totally knocked me flat.   

So this weekend we decided to take it easy....we had lunch in town and hit up a few stores (he has to have his own tools for the job he got...so tool shopping we went!).

  We drove up to Cumberland.  We stopped at Sideling Hill to walk up the overlook...neither of us had done it in years.
 

And I just realized I took none of the cut through the mountain....but I got a couple of Jason!!!  (With a bit of the cut behind him!)

 

 

This weekend we also rented a tandem bike.    Or in easier terms to understand...we rode a bicycle built for two!

 

I have always wanted to try a tandem...and so has Jason.   We have talked about buying one some day in the future.  But we wanted/needed to try it out!!!

Jason was up front first and I rode behind.   Oh my word.....if your in the back you feel so totally out of control. It was a lesson (reminder) in learning to trust your partner 100%.  

When we swapped places and I was the 'driver' I figured out that as the front person you are totally fighting the bike the whole time!   Pretty much every breath that the other person takes causes the bike to sway and move.  (Ok maybe not every breath...but close!). 

It took communication because one person couldn't coast and adjust.  If one person stopped pedaling it stopped both people from pedaling.  So any adjustments on the seat or with a foot on the pedal had to be discussed before hand because otherwise the pedal stopped dead for them too...throwing the bike off kilter even more..  

We felt as if we were pedaling harder to move the bike also..... but then again we are used to riding better bikes...this one was a cheaper model...so that would play into it. 

All of that was workable.   But still the ride was miserable!!!  Why??  The seats were cheap and horrible.  We both suffered!!!!   For me...not only did it HURT...but my bits and pieces actually went numb!!!!!   It was not pleasant!!!!!

But hey...we checked something off the bucket list!!!!

We also picked up a new map of the canal.... I used a green highlighter and marked off the places we have biked /walked this year....:wow...we only have about 50 miles left to bike...we have done well over a half of the canal!  


I showed this to Jason and I'm pretty surethat  in a month or two (or more depending on how long it takes him to get back into the routine of his job) that we will have the whole thing colored in!!!    (And that not including the fact that we still want to complete the whole canal on a weekend long through trip!)


Friday, May 12, 2017

Still curving

I talked about curveballs in my last post......yeah they are still flying at me!    

I'm ashamed to say that some of these curveball have hit and have made me head for the safety and comfort of food!!!!

Last night I got home.  I had picked up some food for dinner and planned on splitting the food between dinner and taking the leftovers for my lunch the next day.   My parents were sitting at the dining room table.  My dad let me in on the updated news of his health before I even sat down.  I ate every bite of food that I had carried into the house. It was easier to eat than to think of the ramifications.     Stress eating at its best.   

I stress ate my way through breakfast too. 

And then mid morning I got control of myself and did ok for lunch.   And then out of nowhere I got hit again.  This time in the form of a full office meeting co-led by the CFO and head of HR.    Changes are happening....big changes!    As in my office will not be a full service branch bank anymore....we will be bare bones/drive through service only.  This will eliminate some people's jobs.  (Mine???). They half heartedly assured us that they have some people retiring so they should be able to find positions for everyone.  But it's not exactly good news for those of us at this branch.  And then beyond our own personal issues with this decision we have to field inquiries...advise customers of this change....try (succeed actually)  to get the safety deposit boxes emptied, etc in the next two months.     Our customers will not be happy.   We are the only bank in town.....it's going to be a rough two months.

So thoughts...plans...hopes...wishes and ideas for my future are going through my head.   Pray pray pray!!!! (Yes I'm accepting prayers!!!  Please pray for my future employment!! Because the handwriting on the wall couldn't be any clearer!!!)

I ate a piece of cake when I got home.....then dinner...way too much dinner  .....and why yes I did buy a king size package of Reece's Cups when I bought my Mother's Day card!
 
I was stuffed after dinner so I am happy to say that the Reece's cups will remain on the end table uneaten (for now!)

So it's been a foodapalooza!!!  And yes I know it's unhealthy.  Yes I know it's bad.    But it happened!  Today I failed at this game called life.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Curve ball

This journey toward health and a thinner healthier happy body is so difficult!   Sometimes I want to scream!  Ok many times I want to scream!!!!!

So in my post from the beginning of the week I talked about how last week was a total flop in terms of my monthly goals.   Yeah....well more about that.   The April goals....

1. Lose weight....I am exactly the same as I was on May first!   At least it's not a gain!!!
 

2.  Track everything and stay within a certain range.   The first week of the month?  Yeah I tracked..breakfast most days but after that it went downhill.    This week I have tracked and while my eating hasn't been perfect, I've done fairly well
Monday: 1623 calories...I ran so I did earn a few extra calories....but it was the ice cream that popped me over my 1200-1500 range.
Tuesday:  1426 calories.   Spot on!!!!!
Wednesday (thus far and the planned lunch in my lunch box): 695 ...leaving 505-805 for dinner.   Very doable!!!

With my eating ice lately been on a cereal for breakfast kick....Special K and bananas...so yummy!!!
 

3.  20 miles of running for the month.   I'm at about 5....so not too awesome.  But that's two 2.5 mile runs so that is better than none!!!

4.  Strength training...I have one little session under my belt!   I did move my living quarters around so I have more space so hopefully I can dig into that challenge more easily!!

5.  2017 miles in 2017.   This was the one thing I did spectacular on during the first week.  I completed 40.50 miles for that first week.   Right on target with what I needed.  Then this week hit and I only have 11.66 miles this far for the week. Giving me 52.16 miles.   It is the tenth of the month.   By the 15 I should have a bare minimum of 86 miles.   That's 33 miles in 4 days.  Doable on a bike....doable with a lot of walking.   But well....life threw me a curveball!  

The curveball???? I've gotten spoiled.  Very spoiled.  Jason has been between jobs and I have enjoyed it.   It has been nice with my crazy ever changing schedule!   Since he hasn't been working, when I get off at 12...2...4 or whenever we have either gone hiking or biking.  It's been a real boon to the 2017 in 2017 challenge.     I knew it was going to come to an end....(sadly neither of us are independently wealthy and thus we must work).    This week he went back to work. Uhhh yeah....first and foremost I'm lonely!!! It's weird not seeing him as much.  But I lost my biking/walking buddy!    Right  now his body is adjusting to a different type of work and a different schedule in his sleep.....so we have seen each other for a few minutes only each night.   Once he adjusts I'm sure we will be back in the saddle.  But right now I'm kinda lost and twisting in the wind!   

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to fill those hours productively.   Because the first item of business is my emotions...yeah I am totally missing those extra hours with him.  So yesterday I weeded and mulched the front flower beds.   Today I was going to try to finish the side beds but it's supposed to be rainy the rest of the week so I may alter the plans and mow today.   I work late tomorrow so that will be fine....Saturday is a 2pm off work day...I'm thinking about going to a goodwill that I heard is really good...but it's kinda way out of my way.    Just staying busy and or productive is my plan.  For next week when I have two 2pm end of days I have  thoughts of grabbing some geocaches....and maybe pulling my road bike out of storage and doing some road riding (and/or starting to store my trek at home and not at Jason's place).  I also have thought about bringing my running clothes and running on the battlefield or canal down here In sharpsburg....my old stomping/running routes.   Whatever I do....it's a thing that I need to stay busy!!! (At least until I get used to the new norm!)

I know though for me...pushing myself to ride by myself is difficult.   I wimp out and don't go...or I start out and my legs are heavy so I only ride 5 miles (if that).   Same with walking.   With Jason I push through!   Yeah that's lazy of me to admit it isn't it????

So a giant curveball.   I knew it was going to come eventually....but it's here now and I'm feeling lost!!!!  

Sunday, May 07, 2017

Reboot

Ok so it's not been good!  

My eating is out of control.   My May goals.....mostly all already messed up and lost!

So I'm starting my month over...May 8 is the beginning of my month!!!!! (I am writing this in the evening on May 7....but I'm done eating for the evening so it's not like I'm avoiding starting and delaying it.)

There will be some changes in scheduling and whatnot coming my way in the next few weeks.   I'm determined to roll with the punches and use the changes to institute some healthier habits!!!!

Another great weekend in the books....
Some hiking in Shenandoah National Park...
 
We haven't hiked recently...and while we have been active we could tell the lack of hiking in our legs!!!
 
Can you tell we were happy to be back on the trail in the mountains??? 
No mushrooms though....not morels...but we did see these that are supposedly referred to as bear corn.  And no..even though there were lots of bear sightings today...none by us. 
A graveyard in the park along the trail.....leftover from the time before the park when people lived on these mountains.


And that is my update....just vowing to get it back together.  Hiking will be so much easier with less weight on my body!!!!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Plans

The first day of the month started off with a bang.   I ran....I mowed...we went for a 10 plus mile bike ride and we also went for a walk.  I was close to 20 miles for day one!    Day two...well I woke up and the thought of running made me literally want to cry.   My legs were soooooo sore.   I tried twice and broke down in near tears both times.  Yeah that's my sign to not do it!!!!    I had a training after work so doing something active in the evening was out too.    But....I implemented my 'strength' plan on the evening!

What is that strength plan?   Well 3 times a week I want to stop and do a series of exercises to build certain muscles that may need a wee little help!  I know that without Zumba squats and lunges are no longer easy and pain free.  (I used to be able to do both without any major aches when I was able to go to Zumba!).  So that is where I'm starting. This is a loose plan and subject to change...squats, lunges, sit ups, planks, push-ups -!; whatever else I feel I can add.

Last night I did 20 each of lunges (each side) and squats....and then I was shaky and sore so 20 is my number for those.   I did 30 sit ups (in reflection I wasn't wiped out and I should have done a few more!)....I held a plank for as long as I could...until my body began to shake like an earthquake  (forgot to time it....it wasn't too long though), and push ups....I'm lame...let's just say I really need to work on this and I will be happy with however many I can do...one proper one is good right now!!!   The long term plan is to intersperse the strength moves with time on the stair stepper.   
 
The stair stepper right now kills me....it's not straight steps it throws a lateral movement in there...so time on it has to be built up!!!  But I plan on it!!!  I did two stints on the stair stepper last night and that did me in....well combined with the squats and lunges it did me in!!!!  

So there is my plan.....

I am really pondering how to make the exercise and the eating two separate entities in my mind.   I'm nailing the exercise.....I don't want to rock that boat.  But my eating has really gone crazy....not horrible all the time but just not on track enough of the time.   I have tried to link the two in my mind and it's just not working.   So I am going to try to come up with some amazing way to motivate myself (something like my mileage goal).   It has to be something that I personally control.   Yes weight loss is under my control, but it is subjective.   I want and need something that gives me a black and white pass/fail.   The weight loss will just be a side benefit!!!

So now it's time to set a second boat out to float beside the exercise boat.....let's add the boat of healthy eating!!!! I can manage both!!!!